My fears bore me

Yes, it’s true. I am still held back by fear and it has started to bore me. I mean, okay I know this anxiety. I’ve carried it with me, I’ve fought it for many, many years. I’ve made a lot of progress, too, on understanding where the fear lives and how to move past it. And last week I had the fear again and it slowed me down. But in addition to the fear I felt annoyed. I know you, fear, and you bore me.

As I’ve discovered with my other projects, the main place fear still arises and causes me to lose ground is when I look at, get near, or even ponder finishing a thing. Anything, not only writing but artwork or any kind of creative work will invoke the fear. And I’ve let it stop me cold far too often.

Which is the long way of reporting that I only hit about 30% of my goal time last week, entirely because of anxiety and fear. I am happy that it was at least 30%, and that I’ve continued the work this week as well. I am very close to finishing this picture, and determined to push through this one, and then the next, and the text, and this book.

I don’t know who made this silly little picture, but for some reason the tiny potato makes me happy. So I share this with you. I’d love to credit the creator, so please post in comments if you know.

Tiny potato believes in you

Meanwhile, here’s the blog hop link for today’s check-in. May we all have confidence in our ability to create, and to finish.

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Comments

My fears bore me — 6 Comments

  1. It’s the voices in my head that keep me from finishing anything. That maybe sounds schizophrenic, but I think that all writers can relate. If it’s not all those characters in my head who want their stories told, it’s that quiet, seductive voice that says, “you know you want it but you know you can’t have it”. Just like your fears, there seems to be something that always wants us to not finish. And some days we can push past that, but some days we can’t.

    Hang in there. You can do it.

  2. The potato is adorable. 🙂

    Fear and anxiety stink. SO much. I have so been where you are. Or closeish anyway. I’m glad you’re in the fear-annoys-me stage. That’s the step right before, “forget it. I’m doing this.”

    • I had the same thought. Being annoyed by it is definitely a step past being stalled by it. Next step, or somewhere in the next few anyway, has to be stepping on over it.

  3. You can do the thing!

    I am intimately familiar with anxiety. It can be crippling. Bravo for learning how to move past it, even though it doesn’t always work out that way.