While working on an illustration this past week, I had an odd experience. The picture I’m working on has been going well. It’s the first illustration that will have color in it, as it’s meant to be part of a cover. So I spent some time watching tutorials and reading through my software manuals and then started to play with color on a copy of the pic.

I decided on some brush types and gradient fills and started to work on my actual picture. And that went well, except that all of a sudden one day I looked at the picture and it looked terrible to me. I hated it, I was sure it was awful, and I became convinced that there was no point in continuing.

I recognized the emotion at once, of course, because the same damn thing has happened with every piece of writing I have ever attempted. Somewhere in the middle I loathe the piece, no matter what it is, and I am sure that there is no point in continuing to work on such trash.

Who knew that drawing would bring out the exact insanity in me? I never expected it, until it happened anyway. But that’s what I learned, that I’m able to hate on my own work no matter what kind of work I’m doing.

Fortunately I was able to keep on working but it gets much harder once that doubt is kind of planted in the project. I can draw back to a more detached view and continue with the illustration, but it’s almost like some dirt has rubbed off on the thing and it never seems quite free of it again. Though I did manage to reach all my goal time for the week, which is great.

Anyway, that’s one insight down. I have another that I’ll try to write about in next week’s check-in. For now, here’s the blog hop link for today’s check-in.